Recallibrating My Settings: Nowist waijiao

I have gotten so used to moving and being in limbo this past year that I feel as though I am a robot when it comes to shifting my expectations: Peace Corps conundrums leaving me without plan (and without home), job searching in a relentlously baren job market, moving to Portland, moving back to Ann Arbor, moving to China, and, within the span of four days, moving from Beijing to a hotel in northern Shenzhen (via train) to my new apartment in eastern Shenzhen. Why should I expect anything other than more shifts in expectations?

The real kicker question: If I expect that I will have to shift my expectations, am I really shifting my expectations ever? Then, what am I actually expecting?

After I successfully "defend my honor" in a futbol match with other teachers from my school (Shenzhen Haitao Primary School), C calls me to let me know that the Shenzhen Bureau of Education has scheduled our apartment to be remodeled starting the next evening; we have less than 24 hours to move-out, and we will do so on the day before school begins. C'est la vie. The following conversation occurs between my contact teacher (Charlie) and me.

 

Me: "Charlie, tomorrow I must move-out of my apartment. The Bureau of Education will fix it. Do you know anything about this?"
Charlie: "You will go home now and shower. Then maybe you return here, to the school, to have beer with the headmaster."*
Me: "Ok. But tomorrow I must move-out of my apartment. The Bureau of Education will fix it. Do you know anything about this?
Charlie (mildly concerned): "Oh no. Where will you go?"
Me (smiling because I am aware that if he doesn't know the answer to this question, then I don't know who would know): "I do not know. Do you know who to talk to about this?"
Charlie: "Hm. Hm. I will find out. Now you should go shower."

I live(d) a ten-minute bike-ride from my school; after 15 minutes, Charlie calls: "Where are you now? Hurry up! The headmaster is waiting." So I haul ass to make sure I do not disrespect my headmaster. Still, Charlie calls every two minutes for the next ten minutes.

The night panned out fine and involved many toasts. Too many toasts, probably. When I tried to toast the headmaster, Charlie escorted me around to each of the 27 teachers present so I could conduct a personal toast that failed to conquer language barriers--they could not understand me, nor I them.

Toasting (and drinking) is a polite behavior; and when gan bei is offered, this means you must empty your glass (e.g.). And so I end-up packing my apartment (my belongings, belongings left by previous tenants, and a small assortment of the miscellany that fills our dwelling places) in a drunken, inefficient grumpy funk.

This is my street: Celebrating the Special Economic Zone's 30th B-day.

By the next dinner, I had moved to a hotel down the street. Here I sit, hotel-bound but well air-conditioned.

Though 9/1  was my first day of school--no jitters--9/2 was my first day of teaching. The experiences were generally challenging and occasionally frustrating. Although I felt as though my third grade students could not understand introductory salutations or my rules/instructions, Charlie has told me that the lessons were too simple: "You should just play games." And this brings me to the name the children love to shout: "waijiao laoshi" (dear foreign teacher). On the surface, this is a term of endearment; hidden in the "waijiao" part (at least, according to my officemates and fellow English teachers) is a derogatory insult: "foreign devil." I do not take this personally, but, needless to say, the name is alienating and a reminder of how hard it will be to find my place in this community.

Charlie insinuated what others have explicated: Foreign teachers are expected to smile, be silly, and to sing songs and play games (often with balls). Essentially, I am a more educational camp counselor without the ability or privilege of providing life advice. Even pantomimes fall flat--I have noticed that gesturing tends to be pointless in China, especially in business interactions.

This tower (and view of HK) is a block from my school

Though I am a laoshi (TEFL certified and all), I am a jester laoshi. This takes a few long moments (read: hours or days) to set-in; being an ambitious person, I have expected myself to set and reach challenging goals. Now, I must reassess my goals, my ambitions, and my perception of what my position will entail this year.

Certainly, I can help educate my students. Certainly, I will be challenged in the process. Sadly, I must come to expect that others' expectations will guide my behaviors.

It is through this realization that I will be able to maintain strong (respectful) relationships with my colleagues at school; and it is through these relationships and through adhering to said external expectations that I might find success that other "waijiao's" before me have found.

Finally, three students were curious about "waijiao" flavor. They licked my arm during the final period of my teaching day. Try disciplining appropriately when in a room of 50 students, none of which (including the "waijiao"-taste-testers) understand a word your saying or understand your tone of voice conveys anger--after all, their language demands tones that we interpret as anger even when not conveying ire. Sadly, my stern gaze and demand that they sit down were not enough; they continued to misbehave and one responded to another's question about whether he liked laoshi: "No."

I have had better first days. I am consoled in knowing that I have 200 days to get better. And in knowing that I can always get a coffee flavored Magnum bar at the end of a long day.

Tonight, I am joining some friends for a hookah at a Turkish Cafe followed by some salsa lessons. Uber cosmopolitan.

Books, Movies, TV: I am still reading Oracle Bones, I am catching-up on "Weeds" and "Entourage," and I could use a good movie.
Music: "Islands" by The xx, Grizzly Bear, "Dance Dance Dance" by Lykke Li, and the following DJ Fresh (thanks Mike).



*This is not a real "maybe." I will post more on the Chinese concept of "maybe" once I have thought more on the wide and varied uses.