Spring's Quarterly Report

Spring time on campus

At eight weeks into the term and with just eight weeks left in the academic year, I feel it is time to purge myself of some thoughts and anecdotes related to my teaching experiences.

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General Class Management:

I am now showing one video out of this ongoing series to each class each week. They love it. I am amazed at how Jessica has corralled her manic personality traits into flawless Chinese mannerisms. Her affect is dead-on though, somehow, more than a little offputting.

Also, I recently discovered that her Chinese name (白姐, baijie, "white sister") is also the title of a popular Chinese pornography novel.

Thanks to DNyks for bringing this series to my attention. Thank you to my students for being well-read on Chinese pornography. (In China, porn is called "yellow" material; perverts, "黄.")

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As class began one brisk day in March, I found myself lassoing one student's attention: "Sousa, can you please put your nunchuks away?"

One week later, I walked into the same class while Michael Jackson's "Beat It" was playing. My students started clapping [mostly] to the rhythm and shouting: "Dance! Dance! Dance!"

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Me: "Why doesn't the character look like a scholar?"
Erin: "He has the appearance of being a soldier."
Me: "So what does a scholar look like?"
Doris: "They look like you--"
Me: "Do you guys know what it means when something doesn't 'necessarily entail' something else?"

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During a class break, I had this confusing interaction.

James Dean: "Do you have dental flesh in your mouth?"
Me: "Yes?"
James Dean: "Ok. To your knowledge, what are the most romantic things lovers can do for each other?"

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Midterms:

For the midterm oral exam, I had my students prepare three-minute-long presentations on any one state in The U.S.A. Most of the presentations required extreme focus so as not to be distracted by the heavily featured Powerpoint slide shows reminiscent of a Kid Pix project. Here are a few memorable moments and fun facts about "Home, Sweet Home":

"Oregon is on the east coast of The Pacific. Maybe Doraemon lives in modern Portland?"

Imagine a carnival barker's voice:"Hey boys and girls! Are you ready for me to introduce Idaho?!?"

"New York is known for its sky crappers."

"Maryland is home to some of the world's best scarab cakes."

"Do you want to go to Bar-it-more, Maryland?"

"This is Anchorage, Alaska."

"Olympia, Washington is the birthplace of the Olympics."

"Syracuse is one of the glories of New York."

"Oregon is breastaking."

"Topeka is the capital of cancerous."

"This is Rick Perry. He is the president of The New Republic of Texas."

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The following was a dialogue during the question and answer section of a student group's presentation.
Nikita: "Lola: Based on your childhood, are you satisfied with contemporary life?"
Lola: "Yes...No...Yes...No...Yes...Oh no!"

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Somehow one presentation about Khalil Gibran led to the following comments.

Jerry: "I dare not assess whether it is proper to court during college. What do you think?"

Alice: "I see why the saying, 'One should love passionately today and break-up tomorrow' is understandable."

Is that a saying? That would explain a lot about my relationship history.

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One presentation that was not based on an article but on a Fort Minor song about Japanese internment almost immediately struck of inappropriate content. While the song is in no way inappropriate for a class, my student's interpretation of the song was remarkably nationalistic and bigoted. (I expected as much given the widespread Chinese aversion towards all things and people Japanese.)

The student (Charlie) firstly spoke about how internment camps were a necessary and just measure imposed upon the Japanese. One of Charlie's vocabulary words for our class was: "Japs." He even went so far as to define "Japs" in this way: "people from Japan with cold and violent hearts." Finally, Charlie added a strange and provocative twist about how, despite the "justice" of Japanese internment camps, The United States was the perpetrator of heinous violations of human rights--"worse than any China has done."

This invited a breach of the really delicate line foreign teachers must walk in regards to explaining our perspectives on history and international relations, which often conflict with official Chinese accounts. I explained that the use of "Japs" and the definition thereof were bigoted, inappropriate, and completely unacceptable forms of social expression--especially in a classroom. Had this not been a Chinese classroom (where a class monitor not only leads the students, but also reports on each of my classes to one of my superiors), I would have forgone a lesson plan to not only engage in a dialogue about nationalism, race, and, specifically, reflections on the crimes of World War II, but I also would have fostered a debate about what "human rights" means and how my students view China's human rights record.  But since this was a Chinese classroom, I had to focus simply on how to correctly and appropriately express one's self in English.

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Another presentation was quite the statement on a general Chinese mentality about environmentalism. My student named May decided to interpret The Giving Tree to be about how our parents should do more in teaching us how to be responsible with gifts we receive.

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I am enjoying my English Literature class since it gives me a great opportunity to reread some texts and research others. I am not enjoying the burden of correcting one hundred poorly written essays in broken English. This experience has enlightened me to the fact that most of my students have never learned how to write an essay.

Fine.

But, I am less than pleased that most of my students have learned that plagiarizing is an acceptable form of essay-writing. Despite my warnings  about coming down harshly on any instance of plagiarism, nearly 1/4 of my students forfeited at least 20% of their grade out of laziness or the bad habits associated with plagiarism--20% being my base penalty for any instance of plagiarism.

One student submitted a poorly translated version of "The Tortoise and The Hare" and claimed it was her answer to this topic: "What is a hero? Use Beowulf, Hamlet, and/or Paradise Lost to answer this question." I gave her a 0%, and she has not contacted me to contest the grade.

Another student submitted this as her answer to this topic: "What is Hamlet's famous soliloquy about? (Act III, Scene i)". She contacted me and apologized profusely (and honestly). I gave her a second chance with the stipulation that her second grade would be averaged with the first (0%) and assessed a "late submission" penalty. She consented and submitted a mediocre yet original essay.

And one final student submitted an essay that was half her own and half an excerpt from The Norton Anthology. She e-mailed me after receiving a 50%: "I am so sorry for my essay because I thought you won't correct our work so meticulously. so I just put little efforts on it.I"d like to ask will this grade effect my final result? If it does,I want to request  for another chance and I want a little higher grade.I promise this time I will write the essay by myself."

In short: Yes, and denied.

Again, plagiarism is par for the course in Chinese academia. This is unsurprising given my experiences as a teacher and given the fact that my students are constantly asking for the right answer about interpretations of literature. I have not yet hammered home the point that there are wrong answers but no one right answer--that the answers are dependent on the individual's interpretations. This is also unsurprising given how my students suffer from a serious lack of creativity, which is why I think that many of them struggle to string together a sentence despite having studied English for as many as fifteen years of their lives. Much of their linguistic ability is dependent upon the recitation of trained dialogues (expressing emotions, discussing the weather, ordering food, etc.).

This completely makes sense in light of a few other Chinese cultural staples: rigidity with proper stroke-order in writing Chinese characters, karaoke mania and the general void of a creative Chinese music scene, etc.

Still, I am saddened by how little responsibility my students are taking for themselves and for their actions. And I am frustrated with the Chinese academic system that engenders academic dishonesty and does little to foster responsible students.

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Yet I digress.

Books, Movies, Music, T.V.: A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin, Footnote, "Barton Hollow" by The Civil Wars, Dirty Three, Gary Clark Jr., "The End of the World" by Lupe Fiasco, 30 Rock, Community, South Park, The Legend of Korra, SNL, Mad Men, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad (just finished season 3).