Confertzel Cookbook: 渴舌发日你试渴

So thin...Eat! Eat!

The "Confertzel Cookbook" should serve as documentation of one Jew-in-China's attempts to make "soul food" using what is available at local Chinese wet markets and corner stores. I intend to keep the recipes fairly low budget and to use methods that most people in China (or with limited resources and kitchen facilities) could accommodate. If I offend anyone with how heinously I drift from traditional recipes, let me apologize preemptively. Specifically, I apologize to my Jewish grandmother.

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Kasha varnishkas has always been one of my favorite side dishes in the Jewish cookbook. Generally speaking, the noodle-and-buckwheat-groat-based dish is savory in flavor and comforting in nature. Not to mention, the dish takes advantage of my [possibly genetic] love affair with cooked onions. All traditional versions of kasha varnishkas will implement a heavy dose of shmaltz (chicken fat)--and when it comes to Jewish comfort food: the more shmaltz, the better.

This is a good dish for the Confertzel Cookbook because of kasha varnishkas's simplicity. The preparation is simple, and it demands several compromises to accommodate resource availability in the Chinese market. The compromises open the door to be filled with Chinese flavors.

Buckwheat groats were hard to find (read: "I could not find them."), so I used oatmeal instead in the hope that some grain is better than no grain--note the recipe and end-notes to see how I accommodated this compromise in the essence of the recipe. Despite the prevalence of animal fat in cooking around China, I could not find any shmaltz. Instead, I used olive oil. In reflection, butter may have worked better.

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I want to once again emphasize that I have corrupted a Jewish culinary classic. I am fully aware of the consequences: I am ready for a backlash of e-mails telling me that, without shmaltz, I did not even approximate kasha varnishkas.

Recipe:

1. Chop two large onions, cook over a medium heat until the onions are dry and almost stick to the pan or wok. (About 10 minutes)
2. Add 1/2 cup of olive oil (or butter) and 1/4 cup of freshly chopped ginger, and raise the heat to medium-high. Stir occasionally until the onions are browning. (About 10 minutes)
3. Meanwhile, boil water and cook 1/2 cup of oatmeal. Let stand covered and unheated.
4. Cook 1/2 lb of farfalle to just slightly firm, drain, and combine with onions and the oatmeal.
5. Add 1/2 cup of uncooked oatmeal, season with salt, black pepper, and 1/2 a tsp of Sichuan pepper.

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Serves:  2 as a main, 4 as a side dish
 
Notes for improvement:

I thoroughly enjoyed this meal with one student who was impressed that I knew how to operate a stove-top. One could easily use a hot plate to prepare this as well. Actually, I do not own a saucepan and hard-boiled my farfalle.

The extra oatmeal at the end is to accommodate for how soft the earlier cooked oatmeal will be by the time it joins the varnishkas.

If you prefer a spicier version, follow the recipe. If you prefer a slightly more savory version, cut back on the Sichuan pepper, increase the black pepper, and consider adding more ginger.

The ginger should be freshly cut for full enough flavor to add that fresh Asian zest.

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I ate a bowl of 麻辣汤 (mala tang, "numbing spicy soup") with this kasha varnishkas. These soups vary in spiciness based on the street vendor from whom you purchase and your relationship with him or her; mine yields a lot of smiles, some basic English lessons for grandchildren while my vegetables boil, and, thusly, a heap of peppers. So to complement the carbohydrate-heavy kasha varnishkas, I had a soup filled with leafy greens, mushrooms, and lotus root.

Confertzel Cafe Menu Entry: 渴舌发日你试渴 (keshe farinishike) "Thirsty tongue of sunshine styled thirst"