What is to be expected? What is to be expected.

Fish don't tread water.

I would be the first to profess how foolish it is to begin a journey or even to begin most tasks with set expectations of how the journey and/or task will unfold and/or culminate. Without a certain amount of flexibility to the whims and uncontrollable forces of the world (especially in China), failure is a constant potential; disappointment, a guaranteed outcome. I know this.

Unfortunately, I am bearing witness, these days, to how knowing something and experiencing it may be stark differences that leave one questioning one's own ilk. As detailed to many of you at various points, I am enduring some trying times. Whether I am at school and facing indifferent students or abusive colleagues, or whether I am at home and elsewhere attempting to distract myself as methods of licking my recently opened wounds. There is no need to detail these trials any further, but my kind readership should be aware that I experience insecurity and stress no matter where I go and nearly no matter what I do. The stress in my life is inescapable because of how profound it is. I wish I could, as I say to myself, "Take it one thing and/or day at a time."

School Lite

A few significant events have happened at my school recently. Each event presented its own unique, laughable discomforts.

Prior to last Monday, Charlie had "asked" me (read: "implored" me) to write a short speech for the "International Flag Raising Ceremony" that would take place on said Monday. Five minutes after Charlie had left the room, he returned and asked: "Elie, have you finished your speech yet?"

So, I whipped out a two-to-three-minute speech that addressed my gratefulness to my headmaster for accepting me in the community, that promoted the necessity of international comaraderie, that expounded upon the importance of cross-cultural exchange, and that encouraged China and the U.S. to responsibly regard their roles as global leaders. Of course, I dumbed the speech down just a bit so that my audience (1st through 6th grade Chinese students with little-to-no ability to comprehend English) would understand the gravity of my motivational words.

Me and Charlie

I arrived to school last Monday just in time to have two sesame balls stuffed with red bean and a bowl of congee before dropping my bag in my office to the loudspeakers blaring the school's anthem. Charlie anxiously put his arm around me, "Elie, International Flag Ceremony is now. Where is your speech?" He picked up the speech print-out from my desk, handed it to me, and offered his translation services.

After five minutes of unfiltered sunshine, a realization about the "International Flag Ceremony" washed over me--the wash being coordinated with the sweat my body was purging in response to the sweltering temperatures. "International Flag Ceremony" was "oooeeeooiii-National Flag Ceremony." Charlie struggled with saying the word "national" without a prefix.